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Tanker Oil Pollution Reaction Plan |
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| Position | Reaction |
| Master | Telephone Coast Guard, personal attorney, Time Magazine, pack bags |
| Chief Mate | Immediately begin reviewing 3rd Mate duties |
| Second Mate | Cover all liabilities and begin reviewing Chief Mate duties |
| Third Mate | Feign no knowledge of any events; i.e. carry on as usual. |
| Radio Officer | Upon seeing the news coverage on the TV at the Twin Wheels, say “Hey guys, that’s my ship” and buy a round of drinks. |
| Chief Engineer | Respond “Thanks for the beer, Sparks.” |
| First Engineer | Upon learning of the incident from the Steward Utility the following day, remark “Holy shit, why wasn’t I informed?” |
| 2nd / 3rd Engineer | Carry on lengthy discussion concerning incompetence of the Deck Department. |